Redneck or Not a Redneck...

Like every rite of passage, in our family we give children shotguns and teach them to hunt. It's a family tradition.

So Jonathan wanted to know the other day why he couldn't go deer hunting. The season has just started and "everyone else was going" and while on the subject why doesn't he have a gun?

Sooooooo... like any good over-protective mother I said "well if it was my choice you'd already know how to shoot a shotgun, when I was your age I did. However your dad doesn't think it's a good idea because you're only 9 and he is not a redneck like your momma". Jonathan's response was... "Dad we live in Texas, get with the program".

It was quite funny. For me, not for Jon. But it did bring up a good point. Jon and I were raised VERY differently. Although in Jon's defence I remember bringing him to Tennessee for the first time to meet the family. Man I was so nervous BUT to my amazement Jon fit right in. Before you knew it he was in the backyard blowing stuff up with the cousins and calling everyone male "son" and every female "darlin". So maybe he is conforming to our ways...

I stole this next part from my friend... it is SOOOO true!!! Enjoy!

TOP 30 THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR A REDNECK MALE SAY..................

30. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.
29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
28. Duct tape won't fix that.
27. Come to think of it, I'll have a wine cooler.
26. We don't keep firearms in this house.
25. You can't feed that to the dog
24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
23. Wrestling is fake.
22. We're vegetarians.
21. Do you think my belly is too big?
20. I'll have grapefruit and yogurt instead of biscuits and gravy.
19. Honey, we don't need another dog.
18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?
17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
16. Too many deer heads detract from the room's decor.
15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
14. Trim the fat off that steak please.
13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
12. The tires on that truck are too big.
11. I've got it all saved on the C: DRIVE.
10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
9. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
8. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
7. Checkmate.
6. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
5. Hey, here's an episode of " Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
4. I don't have a favorite college team.
3. You Guys are so silly.
2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Jenny Sue.
1. Nope, no more for me I'm Driving.


FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO AREN'T SURE YOU'RE A REDNECK JUST TAKE THIS QUIZ...

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF...

You think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are
"Gentlemen, start your engines."

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

Your state's got a new law that says when a couple get divorced,
they are still legally brother and sister.

Your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.

If you can burp and say your name at the same time, you're shur'nuff a redneck.

You may be a Redneck if ... you and your dog use the same tree.

You take a six-pack cooler to church.

Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

You own more guns than pairs of socks.

You own more NON-working cars than ou do working cars.

That billboard that says, "SAY NO TO CRACK" reminds you to pull up your jeans.

Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

You go to your family reunion looking for a date.

If you hang out with Leslie Mabry or if your name is Timmy Marshick... then you're a Redneck!!!

IF YOU REPLIED YES TO 2 OR MORE OF THESE QUESTIONS... WELL THEN DARLIN, YOU'RE A REDNECK!!!